Learn practical positive communication strategies to help your child cooperate and feel connected to you - especially when they mess up.
You can parent
a strong-willed child
with respect and patience
even if your own parents couldn’t.
Do you want to parent your child gently and respectfully but find yourself slipping back into harsh habits when you get overwhelmed?
Do you want a trusting, life-long relationship with your child, but you…
Forget to stay kind in the heat of the moment?
End up shouting when gentle parenting doesn't work?
Find yourself shaming and criticizing your child to get them to listen?
Catch yourself disciplining like your parents did, and it doesn’t feel good?
Struggle with expectations from your family who think punishing your child is the only way?
Want some good news? Parenting with kindness is a skill you can build.
You aren’t supposed to know how to do this without help!
There’s nothing wrong with you.
Kind parenting doesn't come naturally to those of us who haven’t seen it modeled, and it’s not the cultural norm.
You can be the respectful parent you want to be once you learn and practice concrete skills with support from someone who’s been there.
“I loved the 4 tools — so very powerful. Also, I deeply appreciated your transparency, how you shared how you used to feel rage and turn into a monster...made me feel understood, especially given my childhood trauma and how my mother was a monster. I want to break the generational curse of yelling to be heard.”
—Karina F.
Imagine if…
You had a step-by-step plan for the most overwhelming moments of defiance and resistance.
You could feel confident rather than guilty about your responses to your child.
You knew how to set limits with your child that actually improved your relationship with them.
You could stay in kind connection with your out-of-control child in the most heated moments.
You were on the same page with your partner because you were learning tools together.
Hi, I’m Mary Van Geffen, and I’m a mom just like you.
Let’s be clear: calmly parenting my children did not come naturally to me. I had no idea what it looked like to stay grounded in the midst of defiance and unexplainable explosive emotions.
In the early years, there was a lot of yelling, disrespect and anger… from both of us.
Then, when my Spicy One™ turned five, I started a life-changing spiritual journey to see the goodness of my child. I was determined to stay calm, kind, and firm – no matter what they were doing! This deep work into my own childhood wounding and non-violent communication techniques allowed me to make space for the exceptional young adults my children have become.
Today, my great joy is to serve families struggling like mine once did and support them along their own healing journeys.
I’ve helped thousands of moms across the globe transform the relationship they have with their larger-than-life kids. I can help you, too.
You don't have to parent without a map.
You can increase cooperation without losing connection to your child aged 2 to 10.
Join…
In this self-paced class, you will learn...
Four concrete, immediately actionable techniques to deepen your connection with your child while also inviting them to a higher level of cooperation.
Foundational tools for building a healthy, trusting, long-term relationship with your child.
How to block out the noise about the “right” ways to parent and instead get in touch with your own inner knowing.
“After watching this class, I feel more hopeful about motherhood than I have in a very long time!”
—Jessica, class participant
Here’s what’s included when you join KIND:
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Self-Paced Class
60 minutes of recorded instruction and real world examples
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Lifetime Access
The class recording is yours to revisit as many times as you need
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Worksheet
A printable worksheet for note-taking and personal reflection
“What a beautiful class. I think your perspective on parenting is so lovely and Christ-like… this class was utterly transformative and I am so thankful for it and for you. You have such a beautiful heart. Also, as I have watched bits of this, I will narrate what I’ve learned to my husband and he loves it every bit as much.”
—Celia
What if it were possible to set expectations with your children without shaming them into obedience?
KIND is possible.
Let’s infuse some extra gentleness into your parenting.
When you learn to parent with KIND techniques…
You find yourself responding like a leader rather than reacting like a monster.
You realize it's been weeks since you yelled at anyone in your family.
You feel supported by a legion of other gentle parents across the world making it up as they go along.
Your child is calmer and easier to be with because they know what to expect from you.
Your inner voice is compassionate and playful.
You have a clear image of how you want to parent – so you celebrate the great days.
“I don't know a single person who wouldn't benefit from this class!”
—Stephanie
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When you join KIND you get…
• Four immediately actionable techniques to deepen your connection with your child while inviting them to a higher level of cooperation
• Foundational tools for building a healthy, trusting, long-term relationship with your child
• How to block out the noise about the “right” ways to parent and instead get in touch with your own inner knowing
Frequently asked questions:
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This is a self-paced class recording of a live class held in March 2023.
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This class is for parents of kids aged two to ten years old.
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If you’re intensely struggling with feeling angry, stressed out, and on edge, you might want to start with my CALM class.
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If you’ve been a gentle parent all along the way, the TEEN class (Shift Your Parenting) will be a lifesaver! But if you’re brand new to these concepts, it takes a lot more work to repair connection with your child. KIND techniques are more appropriate for a younger child aged two to ten years old
Deciding to parent a young adult kindly is a sacred and difficult first step. You will need support. I suggest moving forward with family therapy or a nonviolent communication class for the whole family.
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Yes, they are welcome to view the class with you!
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Even if one parent is doing the work to become more gentle and respectful, it can change the dynamic of the whole family system! Developmental research shows that having one or more caring adults in a child’s life increases the likelihood that they will flourish, and become productive adults themselves.* Be that adult regardless of where your partner is in the healing process.
*Source: Childtrends.org
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This class will be 60 to 75 minutes long.
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Nope. While I personally identify as a deconstructing, radically affirming Christian, no religious affiliation is specifically associated with this class.
I do believe parents need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power, but how you define that is up to you.
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Your purchase grants you access to all class materials for as long as I run this business of coaching moms on the Internet (aka, for the foreseeable future)!
Have further questions? Send the team an email here.