Moms of Spicy Ones™

Keep your cool and cultivate warm connection with your intense child.

Eight transformative weeks of video lessons, live coaching calls and a private online community.

Click the video to hear about the group program!

Is this you?

>> You feel ill-equipped to parent your Spicy One™ gently because most parenting tips don't apply to your high energy, independent child.

>> You are emotionally drained from walking on eggshells because of their extreme emotions and unpredictable outbursts.  

>> You are discouraged because your child’s explosiveness feels like it’s ruining the family peace, as well as their siblings’ childhood.

>> You feel stuck between worrying that you are dimming their light with harsh discipline, and yet not providing enough structure.

>> You worry about their future as an adult… will they be able to keep friends, a job, or a relationship?

You are NOT the only one!

You can learn how to be a safe, loving space, no matter how your child behaves.

You know the kind of parent you want to be.

  • A mom who responds thoughtfully rather than reacts randomly.

  • A mom who is peaceful and able to stay present for the big emotions.

  • A mom who builds a lasting relationship based on respect and love.

  • A mom whose kids will choose to spend time with her as grown adults.

  • A mom whose child feels seen and loved for who they are, rather than for who you want them to be.

But how do you get there?

Hi, I’m Mary Van Geffen, and I’m a mom of a Spicy One™.

Let’s be clear that parenting my iron-willed Spicy One™ did not come naturally to me. I had no idea what it looked like to stay tender in the midst of defiance and unexplainable explosive emotions. In the early years, there was a lot of yelling, disrespect and anger… from both of us.

Then, when my Spicy One™ turned 5, I started a life-changing spiritual journey to see the goodness of my child. I was determined to stay calm, kind and firm no matter what they were doing! This deep work into my own childhood and non-violent communication techniques allowed me to make space for the exceptional young adult my Spicy One™ has become.

My great joy is to now serve families struggling like mine did and support them in their own healing journeys. I’ve coached hundreds of moms across the globe to transform the relationship they have with their larger-than-life kids.

No one should have to do this alone and lonely like I did.

I want to normalize the intense spiritual work of staying gentle on this spicy journey. I want to help you tend to the angry child in front of you as well as the scared child within you. 

Together, let’s quiet the noise of the judgmental world that would make you feel unprepared for this big job or would blame your child for their struggle.

My mission is to protect kids from being called brats or being written off because the adults around them don’t yet know how to tolerate the tension and stay in their most loving self. 

I am called to lighten the load of moms with the hardest assignments. I want to normalize the intense spiritual work of staying gentle on this Spicy journey. 

Because private one-on-one coaching isn’t accessible to most moms, Moms of Spicy Ones™ is designed to bring you the learnings from hundreds of my clients’ journeys without the custom price tag.

How would it feel to…

>> Set boundaries without crushing your child’s spirit?

>> Let go of the weight of your mom guilt?

>> Validate your child’s feelings instead of ignoring or mocking them?

>> Let your child know they are seen and heard?

>> Stay consistently composed and compassionate in the chaos?

>>Bring playfulness and laughter to the outbursts and fights?

  • In this 8-week course, you will...

    Gain confidence in your own parenting intuition.

    Create a safe space for your child, no matter how they behave.

    Set firm limits without tearing your child down.

    Find creative ways to connect with your unique child.

    Know when to hold a boundary and when to ease up.

    Increase your compassion for yourself and your Spicy One™.

    Learn to love exactly who your child is and be proud of the parent you are becoming.

    The next round of MOSO™ begins September 24th!

    Purchase Now!

“I no longer feel alone. I now know someone understands me and that there are many people who are facing the same struggles.”

— Beth, MOSO™ participant

There are four components of MOSO™

  • Video Lessons

    Weekly pre-recorded video lessons drop each Friday to watch at your leisure. These lessons are the bulk of the class material, and take about 30 minutes to watch each week.

  • MOSO™ Journal

    Worksheets that accompany the video lessons provide space for reflection and further processing of the course material. Each week includes action steps to solidify your learning.

  • Group Calls

    These optional Tuesday video calls have three parts - additional teaching, breakout rooms for discussion, and Q&A time. All calls are recorded for those unable to attend live. (See full list of dates and times below in the FAQ section)

  • Community

    Bring the gift of intimate community to your parenting! With our private, non-Facebook online community and optional accountability partners, you’ll have plenty of support throughout the course.

Plus, you get access to all the MOSO™ curriculum for a year!

 
 

“I loved this course from start to end and feel like I've grown tremendously over the past eight weeks.”

— Katy, MOSO™ participant

Here’s the week-by-week breakdown.

  • You Are Not Alone

    Being a mom to a Spicy One™ can feel so isolating. This week we identify and validate the overwhelming responsibility and opportunity of raising a spicy child.

  • Are You Spicy Too?

    As moms, we sometimes make conflict even more combustible. This week we identify and take responsibility for where we make things more difficult by adding fuel to the fire.

  • Your Childhood Needs

    We all have an Inner Child who needs attention, just like our Spicy One™. This week, we articulate our unique childhood experiences so unwanted patterns are not repeated.

  • Listen to a New Voice

    Self-sabotage is a normal, yet destructive, part of the parenting journey. This week we name default negative patterns in our mind, set them aside, and then identify our wisest, most compassionate inner voice to be our new guide.

  • Big-Picture Postures

    Effective leadership begins with a well- thought-out plan. This week, we define what successful parenting looks like and learn how to add the magic of rhythm to calm our chaotic child.

  • Setting Intentional Energies

    It’s natural to want to control your child’s behavior, but it’s not effective or connecting. This week we shift the focus to the higher purpose of being in charge of yourself, staying curious and cultivating delight.

  • Spicy Parenting Principles

    Your child is highly sensitive to your approach. This week, we level up our communication skills and emotional literacy, as well as access the wisdom of the body.

  • Boundaries School

    Sometimes despite your best efforts, it all goes horribly wrong. This week is learning how to repair, grow and feel even more connected after conflict. We’ll also look at how to set limits with those who don’t approve of your parenting approach.

“I still have a lot of work to do but I have a much deeper understanding of the work that’s needed in myself to be the mom I want to be.”

— Andrea, MOSO™ participant

Moms of Spicy Ones™ also includes 2 months of bonus access to my two most popular classes!

  • Gentle Parenting 101

    This class discusses the basics of communicating gently so your child is more likely to cooperate and feel connected. Feel confident in the limits you set and bring more peace into your home with four E.P.I.C. parenting skills!

    Praise for this class:
    “The tools you’ve taught me will be invaluable to my mental health and the atmosphere of our home. I feel more hopeful about motherhood today than I have in a very long time!”

  • Calm in the Chaos

    Trouble keeping your cool? This class is self-regulation for beginners. A one-hour infusion of what to do when you are this close to losing it with the people you love. You will design the steps to take yourself through when you are entering the red zone.

    Praise for this class:
    "I don't know a single person who wouldn't benefit from this. I'd buy this every month of my life to have someone tell me, "This kid is trying, just like I am" until it sinks in and I can keep my cool.”

  • Here’s everything that’s included:

    Moms of Spicy Ones™ (1 year of access)

    40+ recorded videos $400
    MOSO Journal $100
    Live coaching calls $800 (see list of dates below in FAQ section)
    Online community access $400

    Gentle Parenting 101 (8 weeks of access) $50
    Pre-recorded class
    Worksheets

    Calm in Chaos (8 weeks of access) $50
    Pre-recorded class
    Worksheets

    Full value: $1800

    JOIN TODAY FOR

    1 payment of $399 / 3 payments of $140

    The next round of MOSO™ begins September 24th!

    Purchase Now!

  • Lydia

    “Mary has a ridiculous gift of bringing out the emotions, feelings, and tears in me. She helped me realize so much of how I parent is a result of my own inner work.

    As a result, I’m becoming more aware of me and my feelings. I am realizing more and more that the way I treat my children comes out of how I treat myself.

    Our time together was an incredibly safe place to share and feel encouraged.”

  • Nani

    “I am closer to my kids now than when I started working with Mary. She saw me. She held me. Ever since our time together, I’ve been more able to know that I am in the fold of the Divine.

    It’s really freakin’ hard to be a parent, so if you need support in your parenting, I highly recommend Mary. She is amazing!”

  • Amy

    “I felt stuck. I couldn’t sleep because I had so much anxiety about my relationship with my bold daughter.

    After working with Mary, I have tools for having more compassion with myself in the hard moments. I’ve learned how to let myself breathe before engaging with disrespectful or challenging behavior.

    I feel empowered with practical tools and new eyes to see myself and my children!”

  • Kathleen

    “​​Working with Mary is like having an editor for your thoughts. She would cross out my negative thinking and add encouraging perspectives.

    Together we tweaked the narrative of my parenting so that I can present who I am to myself and my family more accurately. I can come alongside my kids instead of at them!”

  • Monique

    “My life is better because of the time I spent working with Mary. I’m able to recognize the hand of God in my life.

    I know my little family is a magnet for blessings. God is all powerful, even in the midst of my grief, and I’m able to see His goodness even as I am sad.

    The path forward is lit up. Now I can be calm even when my kids are not. I’ve developed valuable tools and skills working with with Mary.”

  • Ashley

    “Working with Mary has transformed my thinking. I used to believe something was wrong with my child and with me. I looked at my kids’ big feelings as a problem and something to fear.

    Now, I’m willing to try new things that cultivate emotional well-being so those in my home feel loved and heard. I focus less on the behavior and more on staying calm. Mary challenged me to try an approach that felt uncomfortable at first but resulted in new parenting tools. I do not fear the big feelings anymore!”

Moms of Spicy Ones™ works for all kinds of Spicy. Here’s why…

  • Shame-Free.

    When you are trying to find your footing with a counter-cultural child who will NOT comply, you are bound to make some big mistakes.

    I’ll share my parenting lows right alongside you, and give you lots of space to grow, without judgment or condemnation. This is a safe space to be a real human parent who has real human challenges.

  • Fully Inclusive.

    You don’t need a diagnosis or an IEP to make life-changing adjustments in your home. You can shift how you show up as a parent whether or not you are medicating your child, in family therapy or surrounded by child development professionals.

    There are so many ways to move toward health and healing, and this space is welcoming of them all.

  • Spiritual, Not Religious.

    While I identify as a deconstructing, radically affirming Christian, in this course, all expressions of faith are welcome. We all need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power.

    Lisa Miller says it well; “Spirituality is a necessary human capacity that exists in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity and sense of guidance from and dialogue with life.”

Worried it’s not actually going to change anything?

Parenting a strong-willed child could bring anyone to their knees. There is so much opportunity to turn this struggle into the most significant growth of your life, even if your child doesn't change at all. I believe that when a parent does the work to become more grounded and confident, her child will pick up on that energy and shift as well.

Worried your partner won’t be on board?

It’s understandable if your partner is suspicious of the effectiveness of gentle parenting, especially if they themselves weren't raised with respect and tenderness. Thankfully, it only takes one person in a family to change their behavior for the impact to be felt on the entire group. This course will be your oxygen mask that helps everyone breathe better.

Worried your child is legitimately too challenging to fix?

This course is not designed to replace medical assistance or an official diagnosis. This is the first step for a family struggling with a Spicy child or additional support for those also pursuing clinical help. This class primarily serves you as the parent, regardless of your child’s unique challenges.

What if it was possible… to feel proud of how you parent rather than constantly worried you are getting it wrong?

“I actually had the thought the other day, "Damn, I'm a good mom - to my girls and to myself." That confidence was hard won.”

— Stephanie, MOSO™ participant

Imagine the future…

  • You stay calm & cool.

    Your Spicy One just had a 5-alarm tantrum but you stayed calm and cool. In fact, you snuggled together using breathing and your warm presence. You are proud of how you didn't let their upset become your upset. Your child puts their hand in yours, looks in your eyes and says “you always make everything better.”

  • You model healthy conflict.

    Your young adult child sparkles out in the world, getting the first job of their dreams, winning over other adults and pursuing their passions. Their friendships are robust and healthy, and they even take a selfie with you once in a while. They know how to engage in healthy conflict because you’ve modeled it over and over again.

  • You are their safe place.

    Your adult child comes home often just to be with you. They seek you out for advice because you are their safe person. They are eager to offer you an intimate peek into their wild and wonderful life, because they know you love them for exactly who they are.

“It is no exaggeration to say that Mary Van Geffen has completely transformed my relationship with my child.”

— Becky

  • Moms of Spicy Ones™ is about to begin...

    Will you join us?

    Jessica says: “I would recommend this course a million times over to other Moms of Spicy Ones!!”

    The next round of MOSO™ begins September 24th.

    Purchase Now!

Frequently asked questions:

  • This course requires about one to two hours each week to watch videos, do the homework and attend the coaching calls.

  • Optional coaching calls are weekly on Tuesdays at 10am and 6pm PST. The course also kicks off with an orientation call on Saturday, September 24th at 10 am PST. All calls are recorded for those who are unable to attend.

    Coaching calls for this round will be offered at 10am and 6pm PST on the below dates:

    9/27, 10/4, 10/11, 10/18, 10/25, 11/1, 11/8, 11/15

    Note: you may attend only one group call per week.

    Additionally, the weekly course videos are released on Fridays. It’s recommended to watch them before the following Wednesday’s coaching call.

  • While all parents can benefit from learning about parenting their Spicy One well, this course is primarily intended for parents of children aged 2-10.

    However, as CS Lewis wrote, “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending."

  • Yes. Bring them along for the ride! No extra purchase is required. However, only moms will have access to an accountability partner and may attend the live coaching calls.

  • Nope. While I personally identify as a deconstructing, radically affirming Christian, no religious affiliation is explored or communicated in this course. I believe Moms of Spicy Ones need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power, but how you define that is up to you.

    Lisa Miller wisely says, “Spirituality is a necessary human capacity that exists in every person through which we experience love and connection, unity and sense of guidance from and dialogue with life.”

  • Your purchase grants you access to the MOSO™ videos, worksheets and coaching call recordings for one full year.

    Additionally, you receive bonus access to Gentle Parenting 101 and Calm In The Chaos for 2 months (through the duration of the live course).

  • Because the course is a digital product that is immediately accessible, you must have not accessed any of the course modules to be eligible for a refund.

    Additionally, refund requests must be received within fourteen (14) days of purchasing the course to be considered.

    Vulnerability and authenticity are core values of the MOSO community. Therefore, I put a lot of effort into an accurate representation of the course experience. I am happy to answer any questions in advance of purchase.

    Thank you for understanding.

Have further questions? Send the team an email at mary@maryvangeffen.com