Parenting wisdom is still on hold as I galavant across Italy. In the meantime, may I share Part Two of my "Meet Cute" story?

Never underestimate the ease of dating in the time of the internet. I nabbed Mr. Van Geffen long before iPhones could connect you to your dream man with a couple of swipes.

When he asked me out on our first official date (after being introduced by mutual friends in Florence), I said “Sì!”. We awkwardly kissed goodbye across my rusty bike.

We made a plan for me to call his host home's number later that afternoon for the details. After a bit of sleep and showers, we’d figure out where to meet up.

Then like a petulant teen, I waited all day to find a pay phone. Strolling through the Boboli Gardens greenery, I tried to hide my smile. To act chill and blasé when, in fact, I was floating.

I had met The One. Kind, intelligent. Funny, handsome. Successful, tall!!

He was either a serial killer taking his time with me or Prince Charming. Like a true Spicy One™️, I was willing to find out either way.

At 5pm, I finally dialed Ginerva (his host home)'s number and heard the vintage sound of rejection: a busy signal.

Three more times that evening, I dropped Lira (Italian currency) into the pay phone on the grimy street corner outside my flat. Each time, all I heard on the other end of the line was "Womp Womp Womp."

Surely he would drive by soon to rescue me from the second floor window I perched expectantly in. He’d spent the night here! He’d insisted I memorize the spelling of his last name! We were practically soul mates! I was fully dressed for dinner and made up like Audrey Hepburn, ready to greet my knight in shining armor.

But as night fell, and the clock struck 9pm, I had to admit I’d been ghosted. Reluctantly, I dined alone, barely tasting the ravioli. I knew he was leaving for Paris in the morning (or so he’d said....maybe it was all a lie) so my chance to see him again was over.

I plunged into existential angst and don’t remember the rest of the trip. My brother must have eventually returned from Switzerland because I remember his story of Italian train attendants ransacking his bag while repeatedly demanding, “Do you smoke?”. He did NOT in fact smoke.

Ten days later, back in Maryland, I couldn’t take it any longer. I dialed 411 (side note: we used to have operators on stand by to give us people’s numbers) and breathlessly spelled his last name. I demanded to be connected to his home in Orange County, CA.

“Hello!?”

The voice was more peppery and jagged than I remembered.....because it was an old person. His father, maybe? I hung up and told myself I would wait 24 hours before initiating again. I had read The Rules. He was supposed to pursue me, or else our union was doomed!

Thankfully, a day later I received a cheery email from one Mr. Van Geffen.

It turns out Ginerva’s clunky first generation cell phone had been broken!

He had emailed me immediately but had misspelled my last name!

He was obsessed with me and wanted to know when I would marry him!

Okay, that last part is not true.

But thus began a feverish daily email exchange á la Sleepless in Seattle. I endured another seven days without hearing his voice.

Then, on the day I was moving to New York City for my dream job in marketing at the Clairol hair color division, he called me.

Ah, the highs and lows of a long distance relationship! Imagine a year of me investigating the deficiencies of the Manhattan male while having glorious meet-ups every few weeks with my California Ken Barbie.

Twelve months into dating, he finally suggested a scenario (with the formality and professionalism of a corporate PowerPoint presentation) whereby I could move to Los Angeles and we could see if we were compatible when living in the same city.

Yes, he speaks like that! He’s in finance.

I took 30 seconds to consider. Me in Hollywood? Sure! And the rest is history.

.......except, not really. I had quite a culture shock taking my East Coast self to the hills of West Hollywood. I literally once heard my neighbors complain, “What is it with all these breeders moving in?!”

Thanks for reading! Scroll down for a brief sampling of what you might have missed on the Gram over the last week.