Learn to set boundaries kindly, clearly, and effectively
Does the idea of asking for what you want make you feel needy, selfish, or (just plain) stressed?
Note: This class is not just for parents.
You’re not alone if this is you:
It’s completely normal to feel paralyzed by the idea of saying no.
Whether due to guilt, fear, or plain ol’ exhaustion, setting limits is complex and can feel like it’s not even worth it.
Sometimes, you can’t even figure out what you want.
Deep down, you know something has to change, but you don’t know where to start.
What if you could learn how to set and follow through on limits without guilt weighing you down?
Hi, I’m Mary Van Geffen, the international coach for Moms of Spicy Ones™️
Since 2011, I’ve worked with over 1000 women to help transform how they show up for their kids and for themselves.
I’m a certified Simplicity Parenting Counselor®, a certified Professional Co-Active Coach®, and have my Masters from Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Business.
Being the original Spicy One, the fierce desire to say NO has come very easily to me. Standing up for what I want is integral to who I am but saying No in a way that didn't set fire to my relationships wasn't so easy. I made a lot of mistakes along the way.
Failing out of my first marriage, losing more than one friend because I didn't know the line between advocating for myself, and demanding people do what I want - it’s taken a lifetime for me to hone my boundary setting skills.
As a professional coach for the last 12 years, I have seen a lot of people mistaking requests and demands for setting boundaries, and I knew it was time to bring what I have learned to parents like you. It is my great joy to help support you as you grow the muscles of limit-setting in your own life.
What If You Could…
Understand what you need and confidently advocate for it.
Clearly state exactly what you need without feeling guilty.
Tolerate the disappointment of others without letting it speak to your identity.
Hold to your boundaries calmly and effectively.
You can learn how to protect your relationships while prioritizing your sanity…with clear limits.
Join me in…
In this class you will learn how to…
Identify when it’s time to say no
Address the guilt that often comes with setting boundaries
Communicate limits with both firmness and love
Stay true to your boundaries – even when people don’t like them
“This time with you has allowed me to give pause, and to just listen. I needed that pause because I've done a great job drowning out my inner voice. It’s amazing what that little bit of stillness has done for me.”
—Buffy
What’s Included:
90-minute self-paced class recording
A printable study guide with space for note-taking and personal reflection.
Boundary scripts for common scenarios including in-laws, holidays, politics, etc.
The class recording will be accessible on Teachable to view (or listen to) as long as I run this business, so you have plenty of time to review the material.
Together, let’s…
Define what a boundary is.
Clarify why you need to say no.
Discern to whom you need to say no.
Decide when it’s time to say no.
Learn how to say no and what to do before, during and after the limit-setting
Figure out what to do with the guilt that comes with saying no.
Imagine…
Your mother in law has opinions about your parenting decisions, and you kindly but firmly let her know her comments aren’t welcome.
Your PTA friend is desperate for help with the school carnival, and you feel no guilt in telling her you are not able to participate at this time.
Your partner didn't follow through on making dinner when they said they would and you feel calm and confident as you ask them to order take out rather than save them.
“Through my work with Mary I am finally realizing my needs are important. Not selfish. For so long I thought I, as the mom, should come last. Even literally with dinner. I assumed mothers are supposed to give and give and give and we don’t really need to get. I thought time alone was too big of an ask. I didn’t realize how much I needed time to myself until I had Mary as a sounding board. It’l was so good to have an impartial perspective. Working with Mary felt very organic, not forced. Something about her is so calming for my soul.”
—Natalie
Saying no doesn’t have to feel scary anymore. Let’s learn how to set limits together.
“Before coaching with Mary, I was resentful and depleted. Mary helped me to shift my focus to what I can most control: my own well-being. I no longer see filling myself up as a luxury. It’s a necessity to stay calm and grounded. So my family will want to be around me. I can look at the root of upsetting behavior with more empathy. Life just feels less stressful.”
—Shannon
Frequently asked questions:
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The self-paced class is 90 minutes plus time for homework and journaling.
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People pleasers, Enneagram 2 beauties and other tender humans looking to feel more confident in expressing their needs especially when it could lead to upsetting someone else.
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If you need specific personal advice regarding your unique situation, you should consult a suitably qualified mental health professional. This class does not take the place of professional advice or a therapeutic relationship with a therapist.
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Yes, they are welcome to view the class with you!
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Nope. While I personally identify as a deconstructing, radically affirming Christian, no religious affiliation is specifically associated with this class. I do believe parents need the benefits that come with opening up to a higher power, but how you define that is up to you.
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The self-paced class recording will be available within 24 hours. Then you’ll get lifetime access! All class content will be viewable as long as I run this business, so you have plenty of time to view and review the material.
Have further questions? Send the team an email by clicking here.