How to practice loving this month
"My husband screwed up. He showed me how little he actually knows me."
At least that’s how I could tell the story if I let my negativity bias do the narrating. Mr. Van Geffen’s crime was to bring me home this colossal flower arrangement for my birthday.
My immediate reprehensible thought was, “but I hate structural Hawaiian flowers.”
Here he was, beaming at me and looking so generous and thoughtful. He had asked the florist to make something unique for his unique wife who “doesn't like anything basic”.
But my brain automatically jumped to the negative.
In the microsecond he saw my face fall and reassemble into a mask of gratitude, the damage was done.
I recovered my composure and thanked him profusely, but this man is fatigued from 20 years of trying to wow me with gifts. (My therapist and I will debrief on why I can become Simon from American Idol when I should be luxuriating in such a beautiful concrete demonstration of love.)
To build back some of the positivity I am so skilled at eroding, I am giving myself a February Love Challenge. Join me!
❤️ First, you'll need some paper hearts. These or these might work.
The objective:
Articulate the goodness of your child and your partner. Put the little ordinary but good things on paper. Train your brain to soft focus on gratitude rather than squint at the issues. It takes serious effort to speak out loud the beauty of our people, but make it be your thing this February.
The details:
Each day, write down one specific thing that you admire or appreciate about your child (or your partner or yourself) on a paper heart. Examples could be as simple as: “I love how musical you are. You singing while you play makes our home a home.” or, “You are a storyteller. Your gift of remembering the details of a story keeps things interesting.” or even something like, "You are so affectionate and easy to hug.”
You can either do a grand reveal on Valentine's day by taping 10 hearts on the door of your child's bedroom, or you could start today slowly adding to the collection of acknowledgement hearts above their dinner chair or over their bed.
This is a chance to reset the temperature of your home to increase kindness and warmth through affirmations.
Let me know if you are participating!
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In Case You Missed It
This week on Instagram, we talked about hobbies! This conversation took a turn into a discussion about division of housework specifically as it pertains to gender:
