I’m meeting guys on the internet…
Don’t tell Mr. Van Geffen, but I’ve been meeting random dudes online.
Let me rephrase that.
I’ve been reaching out to interview dad therapists and male parenting coaches to find the perfect co-host for a special meeting I’m planning.
To celebrate the 5th cohort of my Moms of Spicy Ones® program, I’m adding a Dads of Spicy Ones check-in call for members whose partners are interested.
Imagine a Zoom call just for dads to set goals, celebrate what’s working, and just look around to see a bunch of other fathers also struggling to produce first-time compliance in their children.
To be honest, I’ve been internally fighting this change.
For three years, I'll admit I’ve been mildly irked by comments like, “What about the dads?!” and “Dads need support too!”
Up until now, my answer has depended on what mood I’m in:
Nasty: (think: cranky old neighbor who wants you off her lawn)
Men are welcome to consume what I teach and pull out what works for them. Meanwhile, I’m going to keep writing directly to women. I spent the last 50 years deciphering professional literature that assumes the reader is male. Men can deal with that mental labor for a bit.
Helpless: (think: Marilyn Monroe in a fur stole)
My only lived experience is as a mom going through my matrescence. I can’t speak to what a father uniquely struggles with.
Thoughtful: (think: English professor in tweed jacket with pipe)
I’ve observed a uniquely female struggle where women -- who have grown up praised for being accommodating and soft-spoken -- suddenly end up with a brash, boisterous, and demanding daughter. Naturally, sparks fly. I feel called to help with this particular combustible scenario.
I needed a Goldilocks of a man: a fellow with the presence and experience that immediately garners respect and trust from beleaguered begetters -- dads who understandably feel a tad suspicious of gentle parenting when their kid is anything but gentle.
In the course of these interviews, a trend quickly emerged. The same theme came up from multiple guys -- men who don't know each other.
When asked what they base their approach on when guiding dads dealing with discord among their brood, they all mentioned the same book:
Don’t tell Mr. Van Geffen, [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], but I’ve been meeting random dudes online.
Let me rephrase that.
I’ve been reaching out to interview dad therapists and male parenting coaches to find the perfect co-host for a special meeting I’m planning.
To celebrate the 5th cohort of my Moms of Spicy Ones® program, I’m adding a Dads of Spicy Ones check-in call for members whose partners are interested.
Imagine a Zoom call just for dads to set goals, celebrate what’s working, and just look around to see a bunch of other fathers also struggling to produce first-time compliance in their children.
To be honest, I’ve been internally fighting this change.
For three years, I'll admit I’ve been mildly irked by comments like, “What about the dads?!” and “Dads need support too!”
Up until now, my answer has depended on what mood I’m in:
Nasty: (think: cranky old neighbor who wants you off her lawn)
Men are welcome to consume what I teach and pull out what works for them. Meanwhile, I’m going to keep writing directly to women. I spent the last 50 years deciphering professional literature that assumes the reader is male. Men can deal with that mental labor for a bit.Helpless: (think: Marilyn Monroe in a fur stole)
My only lived experience is as a mom going through my matrescence. I can’t speak to what a father uniquely struggles with.Thoughtful: (think: English professor in tweed jacket with pipe)
I’ve observed a uniquely female struggle where women -- who have grown up praised for being accommodating and soft-spoken -- suddenly end up with a brash, boisterous, and demanding daughter. Naturally, sparks fly. I feel called to help with this particular combustible scenario.
I needed a Goldilocks of a man: a fellow with the presence and experience that immediately garners respect and trust from beleaguered begetters -- dads who understandably feel a tad suspicious of gentle parenting when their kid is anything but gentle.
In the course of these interviews, a trend quickly emerged. The same theme came up from multiple guys -- men who don't know each other.
When asked what they base their approach on when guiding dads dealing with discord among their brood, they all mentioned the same book:
This book on organizational leadership impacted how they show up as parents because it prompted them to pause and ask themselves an important question before engaging in any disagreement or scuffle.
“Do I have a heart of peace or a heart of war, right now?”
Leaders with well-intentioned efforts often create negative results and destructive conflict because they see the person they are trying to impact as The Other. An adversary.
When they focus first on getting their body in a place of peace and compassion, the outcome can be radically different -- even with a Spicy One.
If you have a co-parent, and they happen to be a dude, ask them if they'd consider reading this leadership book to see how it might impact their parenting confidence.
Worth a try, right?
Mary