Learning how to trust
My 18-year-old Spicy One™ has been away, roaming the Irish countryside since just after Christmas. She comes home tonight and I'm ready to see her again!
To feel close to her, I’ve watched Bad Sisters on AppleTV+ (5 stars!) and answered many an awkward FaceTime call (would not recommend).
What is this generation’s obsession with forcing you onto a video call while they unpack or take their make-up off? Everyone else can hear your entire chat and it’s not the most connecting experience, since you can plainly see that they are otherwise engaged. Needless to say, the conversations were not epic except for the moment she leaned into the camera and whispered, “I’m so glad you are my mother.”
I felt a sweet flood of warmth to hear that I was preferred to other random Irish adults but I also wanted details.
“Why?!”, I demanded.
“Because you aren't clingy”, she replied.
After much whispering on her end that I could not hear (she’s in a packed Dublin row house with her bestie’s family and not much privacy), I determined what she meant by ‘clingy’.
She was feeling grateful that I’m calm and not anxious about her life. That I don’t overreact or attack her when she makes mistakes.
If staying calm is not your gifting, please know I learned this on the job!
And save the date because coming up on January 28 (my birthday!), I’m teaching my life-changing 1 hour class: Calm in the Chaos, so you can learn how to become the calmest person in the room.
You too can be called, “not clingy” by your teenager one day.
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In Case You Missed It
This week on Instagram, I talked about how my posture for 2022 was all about changing my mindset towards my dear husband, who puts up with a lot of, shall we say, "up's and down's" in the wife department. Woe to the husbands of parenting coaches out there just trying to relate to their kids without “input” from a spouse. I’m a barrel of laughs until I’m staring at you coldly and judging you for not being as evolved as me.
In 2022, I actively nurtured the thought: “My husband loves me dearly and everything he does is out of a deep and abiding love for me and our family."
Out of that exercise, I learned I don’t inherently know how to trust a partner. I trust my girlfriends, but there is a mental block when it comes to my most sacred relationship. So, I’m continuing to practice trusting my spouse. Trust is absolutely critical in intimacy.
