Motherwound: when calling your mom is complicated

Mother’s Day is weird.

It’s way more complex than people talk about in polite company.

If your relationship with your mom, mother-in-law, and your kids is perfect, I’m super happy for you!

But many of us don’t have a mother we can just call whenever we want. Maybe they’ve passed away. Or maybe they’re harsh when we most need tenderness.

Maybe we keep calling and visiting, but it feels like we get burned more than we would tolerate in other relationships.

For many of us raised by moms of a less-intentional generation, we aren't done healing the heartache from our own poor early attachment even as we try to parent our own children with more consciousness than was afforded us.

This season is extra challenging for those of us who actively nurse a Mother Wound.

A mother wound can look like pathological hope. Are you caught in a cycle of continually going back to your mom hoping for a different reaction or outcome? That’s a mother wound.

Kelly McDaniel uses the term Mother Hunger and invites readers like you to reclaim the tender parts of yourself that were sacrificed to earn your mothers love or survive her absence.

“Best mom ever!” “My mom is my best friend!” “Home is where your mom is!”

The Hallmark cards and phrases might not ring true for your dynamic with your mother or mother-in-law, but most of us hope that the feelings behind these sentiments eventually resonate with our children’s experience of us.

Mother’s Day is an opportunity to look back on how you were mothered and intentionally enjoy the relationship you are cultivating with your own child. (Or to just take a break from the kids, as the case may be.)

When it comes to our partner's participation on Mother’s Day, here’s your reminder that failing to ask for what you want or need before May 10th is a recipe for pre-planned disappointment. See the newsletter from two weeks ago with questions to ponder and answer for your family for the best results.

If you want – hit reply and tell me a bit about your relationship with your mom.

Wishing you a restful Mother’s Day – one that’s somewhere in the ballpark of how you imagined it!

Rooting for you,
Mary