My adolescent fascination with the macabre
Shout out to Halloween for consistently delivering the expectation of anarchy. A chill in the air warns of the potential for mayhem. Perfect conditions for the Spicy One.
Growing up in Catholic school, I was warned by superstitious friends that Halloween - and the day after: All Souls Day - were times of crossover from the realm of the dead. Beware if you stay out past midnight. The boundary between the living and the dead can blur.
We ate this creepiness up! In Middle school, we crafted a homemade Ouija Board to tempt fate. We played Bloody Mary, turning around before a darkened mirror, praying not to see a demon reflected there.
Twenty years later, after “accepting Christ”, I listened crestfallen as my evangelical friends explained, “we don’t celebrate Halloween. It’s not of God”. What a bummer! Jesus, why must you be so boring? I defiantly tucked the scripture about the undead escaping their graves and roaming the earth (Mathew 27:51-53), into my heart. Ok, Jesus, I guess that was pretty epic.
Since those days, many Christian families have found more space for the macabra in their Spicy Ones' interests. Like the teen son of a friend who's become theme-park famous for the scary character he's perfected at Knotts Scary Farms, a Southern California Halloween haunt. Kaine gets to terrify people for a job!
Let's go back to my teen years. 8th grade Halloween was spent teaching the graveyard choreography from Michael Jackson's Thriller to my obedient friends.
Like any Spicy One, I was always happiest if everyone was doing what I initiated. Getting my friends to move like zombies in unison was a dopamine dispenser. (Don't worry, I’ve gotten better at letting others lead and so will your child).
9th grade Halloween was less wholesome. I drove around dressed as Madonna in an older boy’s van looking for a party. I drank a warm beer.
By 10th grade, I was siphoning vodka from my parents’ liquor cabinet (and replacing it with water, cuz duh!) while cheering on hot boys throwing the neighbors’ carefully carved pumpkins off balconies.
At that age if we dared to trick or treat, we were treated as predators. Given the side eye and handed a reluctant Twizzler.
I say, let the teens trick or treat! Don’t you dare insist they wear a costume in order to get your candy. They need permission to play dress-up and be uncool enough to embrace festivity. To wade through the once barren neighborhoods now filled with community. Encourage them to partake. Embrace those non-local kids who have driven in from at-risk areas because your neighborhood seems rich enough to give out full-sized candy bars. Love on those teens!
The above exclusive discount will not be shared on Instagram.
Teenagers need your permission and your invitation to go full hog on this International Day of Dress Up. Your acceptance creates a coveted Third Space.
“The term “third place” originates from a 1989 book, The Great Good Place, by sociologist Ray Oldenberg. He characterized third places as locations that facilitate social interaction outside of the people you live or work with and encourage “public relaxation.” They are places where you encounter “regulars,” or frequenters of a space, as well as potential new connections.” Source: The Today Show.
Teens also need ideas for play that don’t involve staring at a screen. Here's my list of toys for teens.
Happy Trick or Treating!
Mary
Can you sense my passion for staying connected to tweens and teenagers?
If you need help to make the transition from elementary school super mom to not-so-cringey mom of middle schooler or high schoolers, get my Tweens & Teen Class.