Try This One Weird Pre-Summer Trick
It’s one of my all-time favorite memories as a parent. My Spicy One® was 11 and her Mild Child brother was 9.
We're zipping down the street on our bikes, the kids trailing behind me yelling, “Wait for us!”
I relished hearing that edge of disbelief in their voices – how could mom be faster than us?
I could feel our special snack bouncing in my bag -- rice krispie treats. The bike path pavement was flat and smooth. No traffic ahead.
Then I got a wild idea. I remembered when I was nine, riding with my arms off the handlebars and out to the sides like a giant bird.
Could I do that again, now?
I sat back in the saddle and straightened my torso. My legs kept pumping hard (I had to stay in front of the kids!).
Then, like a plane taking off in windy weather, I slowly lifted one hand, then the other until I was officially riding with no hands.
“Wow! Mom! I wanna try that!” came a voice to my left. My son grinned as he whizzed past me with his arms spread wide like an eagle.
Sugar was a reoccurring request throughout the years.
But often the request was to do things together with no cell phone in the hand of either parent.
Sigh. I miss those days.
There’s just something about a Yes Day that makes us all feel a little dare-devilish.
What is a Yes Day?
A time period planned (with much fanfare leading up to it) where the parents give a hearty YES to any idea the child has. The goal of a yes day is to create a memory with your kid(s) -- bonding with them because they are driving the boat (maybe literally).
When the kids choose the agenda (and you might be surprised at how tame their initial asks will be), they feel empowered, seen, and respected. And that makes for a connected child – and as the quality of your relationship improves, often things like cooperation take care of themselves.
Full disclosure: I put a lot of parameters around my Yes Day. First off, it’s only three hours long. Second, no screens were allowed (I mainly used electronics when I needed quiet). Most years, I would also stipulate a modest budget, for example, it has to be free or under $10 per person. You get to decide!
Take some time to think about what boundaries would be important for you and your family. Write them down so the rules are clear and visible to all.
Then let the ideas fly!
Talk about it for at least a week beforehand. Their excitement not only feels good but becomes part of the memory. Just the expectation of experiencing something exciting can enhance the positive feelings of remembering it after it happens.*
Make it more likely they’ll remember what an awesome parent you were!
Talk about what supplies will be needed (Reusable water balloons? Special foods? A musical playlist?)
Will you try a Yes Day to kick off summer vacation this year? If you’ve done a Yes Day in the past, what kinds of things have your kids requested? How did it go?
Next week, let’s talk about sitting with the emotions that milestones and graduations bring up.
Rooting for you!
Mary