6 tips for peace in December
Hi, I’m Mary Van Geffen and I like to ambush my own December.
Standing with my fellow improv students on an LA stage last night, I felt a shiver of dread. My first Groundlings performance is next week. My kids and husband are the only ones that I’ve invited because this hobby is still in its infancy. An embryonic cringe fest. How did I get here? How did I find myself taking on the stress of performing with quick witted 20 somethings…in December?
Long-form Improv requires you to clap yourself in and out of scenes. You clap to save your fellow performers (and the audience) from a sketch that has reached its comedic peak. After clapping, you run to the center of the stage to start a new sketch, dragging other actors with you who have no idea what you want them to do. I’m not clapping. I’m frozen, smiling so wide, laughing at what these kids are coming up with. It’s been four minutes since I joined one of the sketches. The pace is too quick. I can’t generate ideas as fast as these kids do. So I cheat. I morph into my go-to characters like Ole’ Montana Perv or 1920’s Heiress and saunter through scenes dropping one liners. Thankfully, I'm clapped quickly off stage. I am out of my element. It feels like standing in an airplane whose door is wide open, a freefall to your death available at any moment. I chose this.
December is already a frenetic and stressful time. Concerts, Parties, Gift Buying and that damn Elf. Why would I add Improv? Because, [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], I love it! I desperately need the effervescence that comes from being in a room of chaotic creatives. My ADHD brain demands novelty less I become critical and harsh with the familiar loved ones around me saying the same things and wanting the same things….every day.
Seeking novelty can work against me. Last year I took the Working Genius assessment. It tells you what your strengths are when it comes to moving a work project through all the phases of its process. The take-away: I lack downstream skills like galvanizing, equipping or executing. Basically, I’m not good at doing the actual work. 🙋 My genius is brainstorming and wondering. Wondering. Can we actually claim that as a skill?
I have always been the one in class to raise my hand and stop the lesson because I am wondering. Just this morning I asked the pilates instructor what “knees tracking*” meant since she repeats it for every move. I’m always curious about what makes people do the things they do. Not only did the test tell me wondering is a talent, it suggested that my space-cadet daydreaming is imperative to nurture less I burnt myself out. To be whole, I need time staring into space, touching grass, just being - no deliverable expected. Only wondering.
My need for novelty and for wondering are often at war. Especially in December. What tension do you experience between your conflicting needs? What do you need to be a mom who emanates peace and love in this reflective season?
Here are some helpful tips from your parenting coach:
1. Realize it's not your job to create the magic of Christmas.
It already exists! You are in charge of nourishing your own inner calm and replenishment to allow existing Holy Spirit magic to flow freely.
A stressed mom does not smell like Christmas. Listen to my free 12 Days of Holiday Affirmations for support.
2. Enlist all 5 of your child’s senses.
The sensations touch, scent, sight, hearing and taste are the brain’s tools for forming lasting memories.
Orange peels simmering with cloves in the slow cooker.
Fragrant pine needles left in your car from the tree lot.
Soft blanket pillows on the sofa just for December.
And of course, there is also sacred and silly music set apart just for this time of the year! Fill your home with the sound of cozy. The two chill Christmas albums I’m enjoying this year are Ben Abraham and The Oh Hellos.
3. Harness the Power of Light. From my 13 years of teaching parents, I can say with certainty that most recalled childhood memories of Christmas involve twinkling lights or fires in the fireplace. Not gifts. Turn on your lights every morning before the coffee brews. Light a candle at each family dinner. Walk in a neighborhood that goes full Griswold with lights if yours doesn't. The juxtaposition of lights against the dark days of December is awe inspiring.
4. Clear out the Clutter: I’m a little late to tell you this but wait to add all that Christmas bling, until after you remove 30% of your existing decor. Sophisticated curation is as much editing as it is addition. Do the same with your chores. Refuse to do 30% of the work usually done to make room for all the additional goodness available in December. Could that mean skipping the PTA meeting or putting the kids’ lessons on hold for this month?
5. Schedule self-mothering in your daily calendar.
How are you going to take care of yourself this season? Daily moments of nurturing your own needs are imperative for you to have the patience for your little elf’s shenanigans. Click here for free daily affirmations read by me. Write self-care & spiritual time in the calendar. What do you love to do? Exercise? Sewing? Yoga? They should be on your December calendar so you are filled up enough to care well for everyone else’s needs.
6. Balance stimulating days with peaceful days. As the adult, you are in charge of preempting the Spicy One’s over-stimulation point. Build in down time every other day to give your child the space and unstructured time to recoup. To wonder! Cling to rituals of normalcy like set bedtime and meal times. It’s a harrowing trend. While it’s exciting to see a December calendar filled to the brim, it wont end well for the Spicy One. If you enjoy going to a big event to mix and mingle, keep to a time limit rather than push your kid past their tolerance.
What else helps you thrive during this month?
Mary