Tips for After School Meltdowns
Earlier this week, my husband came in the door excited to ask about my day. So sweet, right?
I was in deep focus mode, so in response, I put my hand up and yelled, “Stop! I’m in the middle of something!”
Task switching is not my forté (have I mentioned I have ADHD?!), and I was annoyed I'd been interrupted.
He was understandably hurt. I hadn't welcomed him home with open arms like I normally would.
Since we're both adults, we know that our needs and experiences both matter and we can work through the stressful emotions together.
But when relational hiccups happen between us and our kids, we're the only adults in the situation -- so it's our job to be the emotional anchor (yay!).
And that takes hard work and preparation on our part!
Back to school can be a stressful time for both parents AND kids.
If you haven’t already experienced it, take it from the moms who have: you'd better buckle up, buttercup!
After school restraint collapse is coming for us all.
So let’s Pump. You up!
Here is how to prepare yourself for the return of the Spicy One after a long day at school:
1. EXPECT THE DRAMA
First, reality check! At some point, they are probably going to melt down. It’s almost guaranteed.
And it’s really not their fault! They’re being asked to keep their sh*t together for eight hours -- think about the demands placed on them in school! They've gotta:
stay focused,
regulate all their emotions,
in a new place,
with new kids,
a new teacher,
in the heat,
with a 25-1 teacher-student ratio AT BEST,
all day -–
and all with an underdeveloped brain.
No offense to whoever invented schools, but it’s a recipe for rocky afternoons. We can be realistic about the pressure they're under each weekday and cultivate some empathy for their plight!
If you want to practice cultivating kindness and empathy toward your child, check out Kind, my online class that teaches the basics of communicating respectfully so your child can feel more connected to you -- which often results in more cooperation.
2. GROUND YOURSELF
Build in some buffer time for you before carpool or bus drop off. Take time to check your internal climate and make yourself a welcoming environment for them.
Caring for ourselves is often an afterthought as moms, but the oxygen mask analogy absolutely applies to afternoons after school.
If you’re unsure what it means to cultivate calmness in your body, you might wanna check out Calm, my online class that teaches somatic practices for being the most regulated human in the room.
3. MOVE YOUR GOALPOST
If your primary goal is to avoid difficult emotions or challenging expressions of those feelings, I’m worried you will be disappointed.
And your child might be missing out on getting to practice becoming comfortable with having a normal range of human emotions.
The goal is not to avoid a meltdown – even if there is one, your relaxed face, a well-timed snack, and your welcoming, nonjudgmental presence will provide the safe landing spot they need to let off some steam.
If you're trepidatious about allowing emotions because you don’t feel sturdy enough to stand firm amidst their raging tornado, you might wanna check out Firm, my online class that helps you to discern when to set a limit and when to allow for free expression.
For more quick tips see my latest reel.
And for guided support walking through these things and preparing to welcome your kids home with warmth -- even when they are beyond normal levels of snappy, join me on Monday for our live call!
How are you prepping for back to school?? How are you processing all the big feelings that come each fall as parents??
Rooting for you,
Mary