Are you or your Spicy OneⓇ an HSP?

This stands for Heightened Sensory Perceptor and was coined by Louve Henning as a kinder substitution for the original acronym (which stood for Highly Sensitive Person).

As an HSP, moving through a huge city can be exhaustingly stimulating. Less “vacation” and more “trip.”

What is a Yes Day?

A time period planned (with much fanfare leading up to it) where the parents give a hearty YES to any idea the child has. The goal of a yes day is to create a memory with your kid(s) -- bonding with them because they are driving the boat (maybe literally).

When the kids choose the agenda (and you might be surprised at how tame their initial asks will be), they feel empowered, seen, and respected. And that makes for a connected child – and as the quality of your relationship improves, often things like cooperation take care of themselves.

When a Spicy One® is super fired up for an experience, they can build it up in their mind and romanticize it. And then, when reality inevitably doesn’t perfectly align with their fantasy, they can crash hard emotionally.

She was so excited for me to come up. For weeks she’d been texting me ideas and itinerary reminders. Bring a floral dress for the teapot painting party! Don’t forget your pickleball racquet!

Mother’s Day is weird.

It’s way more complex than people talk about in polite company.

If your relationship with your mom, mother-in-law, and your kids is perfect, I’m super happy for you!

But many of us don’t have a mother we can just call whenever we want. Maybe they’ve passed away. Or maybe they’re harsh when we most need tenderness.

He was a total stranger.

“Do you all need me to pray for you about anything?”

My friend was in the Target checkout line with her 12-year-old niece. The man with scraggly hair and an eager smile was making them both uncomfortable.

He stood too close.

And he wasn’t getting any of the nonverbal hints they were putting out.

I hate to be the bearer of this news, but Mother’s Day (U.S.) is right around the corner.

Are you ready for it?

Here’s a nasty myth I see bullying hard-working moms like you:​If someone truly loves you, they should know what you want.

First, I want to validate the desire here. It is reasonable to want to be seen and known, especially by our loved ones.

I’m not sure when it happened, but apparently I am designing Easter baskets for young adults now. And they don’t want candy. They want cash. It’s a whole thing.

Especially when your partner seems to think there are magical forces at play in bringing it all together. (In his defense, he did order the ham. But the look of surprise on his face when he discovered the kids’ baskets was confusing for all of us -- you know there's no Easter bunny, right?!)

I went looking for tips for being a good mother-in-law to share with you, and my ADHD hyperfocus landed me in an Estranged Moms Facebook group!

After inviting a classy-looking, gray-haired guru to come on an Insta LIVE to share her Ten Tips for being a Good MIL, I decided to join her newsletter. I wanted to make sure our vibes were a good match.

I’ve got some pep in my step because I just hosted my Spicy One and her college friends. Picture five 19-year-olds giggling, dancing, sleeping, and eating in my home for four days.

As I did my best impression of an over-eager Downton Abbey servant during a royal visit, I also leaned into the opportunity to get to know my daughter’s new friends on a deeper level.

Here are four things I did that helped make this long-as-heck playdate enjoyable. I hope you can apply them to your kid gatherings as well.

Something I say a lot in my Insta DMs: “Spicy is in the eye of the beholder”.

Meaning that what I find challenging as a parent, you might think is a cakewalk – and vice versa.

The moment I realized that my daughter was…built different?

It was the week in my mom group we discussed the benefits of daddy-daughter dates – they can be a helpful time for girls to learn how they wish to be treated by future partners.

I’ve been reaching out to interview dad therapists and male parenting coaches to find the perfect co-host for a special meeting I’m planning.

To celebrate the 5th cohort of my Moms of Spicy Ones® program, I’m adding a Dads of Spicy Ones check-in call for members whose partners are interested.

Imagine a Zoom call just for dads to set goals, celebrate what’s working, and just look around to see a bunch of other fathers also struggling to produce first-time compliance in their children.

If you were my marketing manager (I don’t actually have one), you might have been surprised around Christmas when I posted an impromptu Reel on Instagram about grieving the current and historical rejection of LGBTQ+ Christians in many church spaces.

And, if you were my marketing manager, you might have cringed last Sunday evening when I ad libbed in Insta Stories about the 1946 Project, a documentary that uncovers how the word “homosexual” only entered modern translations in (you guessed it!) 1946. (Before then, those six clobber verses more clearly denounced only pedophilic relationships.)

All that is because (if you were my marketing manager) you’d know that my readers — you all — are an eclectic group of humans!

The internet gods are fickle.

You never can tell if the well-planned, high concept video will flop or if instead the off-the-cuff carpool line clip will soar.

Going viral is not predictable – and if I’m being honest, it’s not often entirely pleasant, either.

A recent comment from a 20-something year old Spicy One™ reads, “I am going to rip out my eyeballs and burn them so I never have to read anything you write again.”

I’m writing to you on a dark plane flying home from Nashville after an illuminating weekend with a group of friends I made on the Internet. Can I process it with you?

The five of us originally met on Instagram, though we’ve been formally zooming and texting for a year. Leading up to this weekend, I had only met one of the ladies in real life. I couldn’t stop wondering what could go wrong.

It felt like I was heading into an ideal setting for a modern murder mystery.

Even clunky affirmations can work magic.

A teacher in high school once told me in front of everyone, “Mary, at some point you’re going to drop the dumb blonde act and let people know how smart you are.”

It happened a few months ago with my Mild Child.

As my eldest prepared to leave for college, her not-so-little teen brother sprawled his nearly-six-foot frame across the couch and teased me:

“Face it, mom, all your babies are leaving! Two years after she goes, I’m gone too!”

My spicy retort rolled easily off my tongue before I could think it through, “Oh, it will be so much easier when you leave!”

“Who’s gonna cut my damn pancakes?!”

In this particular instance, my client’s five year old Spicy One™ was trying to elicit a laugh.

But often, when he got actually angry, his swearing was…less than humorous. I literally can’t repeat it here.

For the record, I don’t yet have my word for 2024 picked out yet. It’s so important. I can’t rush it.

But I can tell you for darn sure that I’m not doing traditional resolutions (and it’s not just because I’m an Enneagram Four).

If you feel alone and isolated this holiday season, I want you to know that I get it.

And you are not alone.

I’ve heard from hundreds of you on Instagram this past week about how deeply lonely your experience of motherhood has been.

For when the kids are off school…forever!

All that time off school and work for the holidays should be life-giving, right? But instead, it feels like a slog and a half. You know you will be overstimulated and overworked – like a holiday cruise director – and with a heaping dose of guilt to go along with it. Why can’t you just love every minute?!